Goose feathers frequent the fastidiousness of my disease. Ideology circles the drain of my thoughts, pragmatism clogs my desires. A night can seem to be an eternity when your eyes arrogantly refuse to close. When the sun is up and there are pages to be consumed, the moon arises again within seconds. When will time learn to behave, to follow the ticking of my watch with seriousness. Time laughs at me until I’m but a broken clog, caught in the mechanical dismal display of my life.  

“The other night dear, as I lay sleeping
I dreamed I held you in my arms
But when I awoke, dear, I was mistaken
so I bowed my head and I cried”

You are my sunshine

When I’m hurting I need you to place your hands around my throat and fuck me as hard as you can. I dream that one day, neither of us have to leave the other. That your restless soul will find peace in my arms.

I will never love anyone the way I loved you. The purity, the innocence, the smiles, the laughter. We adored each other. We needed nothing else, our own bubble, our own world. Our love. Our love. Our love. 

5 years to a few hours ago. Two people died. Setting off a catastrophic chain of events. The butterfly effect?…How have butterflies beautified any of the events which followed. 

I wake from nightmares, the ghost and memories follow me. The same events over and over again, replaying in my sleep. I’ve created a past to my slumber and when the horrors begin they have a history to draw from. With my eyes open, I struggle to remember which past is mine. The crayon lines between the nightmares and my life. Over and over again. Which is more real, my dreams or my waking state? Which is more terrifying?

I just bought four pairs of new shoes and by god it has turned me on.

Philosophy of life according to me:


If it hurts pour tequila and loud music on it, until it stops.

Detachment

at the crux between

desire to sleep

and truest desire

neither is wanted

without touch

without another

So detachement

the sanctuary

where your last smile fades on my lips.

At 6am two guys walked me home because they both wanted a kiss goodbye. Awkward. Result, no one got any kisses at all.

ITV News: Change the way they report female sport achievements


So my beautiful darling followers, after a few glasses of wine in the name of a rather good cause, my housemate and I have started a petition. If you would like to sign, we would both adore you forevermore. Also it’s a good cause. 

I had an interview today with this company. I came out of the interview thinking they’d sold themselves to me, more than me to them. I hope they give me a job, they seem like a truly darling company to work for. 

So there’s a guy, he’s immaculately perfect for me. However, he has a girlfriend. DAMN IT.

Running her finger tips through the fields of time, she paused to ask herself, could eternity be just this moment? The intent spiral of her smoking thoughts haunted the subtle veins of her soul. As the light flooded her consciousness, she raised her heavy head and looked to the stars for guidance. The whispered response crawled through her scalp and was embedded into her memory. She fled to the place she made so encapsulating to forgive herself, among the flickered past where he ran his tongue up the inside of her thigh. Curled up within the safety of velvet, eternity became more than just a moment. 

Today, I feel exceptionally naughty.

Today, I feel exceptionally naughty.